Hunter Hunted
by acosta perez jose ramiro
Summary: Third of my Wheel of Comedy Series. The predator is the prey, and otherwise.


SUMMARY: Third of my "Wheel of Comedy" series. What happens when the prey is the hunter, and otherwise? Take a look to discover it.

Hello everyone! I'm Ramiro Acosta. (And I'm Babs Bunny!) No relation/(No relation.) You know, Babs, that has no sense; it's obvious we aren't related. (Yes, but this is my third story assisting you, and had no chance to say my favorite line until now.) sigh. Babs, what I'm going to do with you? (Giving me a carrot would be nice.) Deal. But first, you know what you must do. (Okay. I'll clean my room.) No! The disclaimer!

(Just kidding. I never clean my room. Ehem. DISCLAIMER. Ramiro, as you guys know, doesn't own any character portrayed on the fic. We are all property of Warner Brothers. If we have a cameo, we'll clear that at the end, okay?)

Thanks, Babs. And now, to start the story, we'll need... THE WHEEL OF COMEDY!

_The wheel that contains a picture of every single TTA character appears next to us. Babs gives it a push, and starts spinning._

(Keep spinning, baby! Mom needs new shoes!) Babs, you wear no shoes. (Party-breaker.)

Slowly, the wheel starts stopping...

And, our star on today's story is... LITTLE BEEPER! (This time, the spotlight is on the orange speedster!)

One last author note. In this fic, Beeper will talk in his native language, but I'll translate for the readers. Also, if any other silent character appears, he will communicate through the classic signs, unless I tell otherwise. ( On with the show!).

HUNTER HUNTED.

A TTA fic by Acosta Pérez José Ramiro.

FINALLY CAUGHT.

Little Beeper, as usual, is doing what he enjoys the most, running around the city. This time, however, the canine that usually is behind his tail is nowhere to be seen. After a while, Beeper stops when notices a big bowl filled with bird's food, and a little signal reading "Free". Beeper rolls his eyes, thinking that his chaser is finally losing his imagination to set traps. The bird shrugs, and starts eating the food at high speed.

After he finishes, and noticing he had activated no traps, Beeper decides to return to his morning exercise. At that moment, he notices a gray blur approaching at high speed against him. Beeper smiles, knowing that he will always be faster than his attacker, and expecting a lot of fun from this little chase, pokes his tongue to the dog, and, after doing the classic "Beep-Beep" sound, dashes in the opposite direction.

After a few minutes, Beeper takes a fast look over his shoulder to see if Calamity is still chasing him. To his surprise, he isn't just behind him, but at a very close distance. Beeper decides to accelerate a little more, but, suddenly, he notices that's impossible. He know is feeling an odd sensation on his belly. Then he realizes what happened; the food must had been a very heavy meal, or maybe contained some peebles or metal munitions among the seeds, and now he is just too heavy to reach his peak speed!

Beeper tries to run faster, but is useless. The extra weight is holding him back more seriously than he could even imagine. Calamity gets closer and closer. The canine is now just mere inches from the bird's tail. Beeper is sweating bullets, but still tries to accelerate. Right when he thinks he can summon enough strength for a panic dash, Calamity jumps on him, tackling the bird. They both roll over the street because of the impulse, and finally land near the sidewalk. Calamity is now in top of Beeper, with a menacing look on his face, while Beeper looks defeated. Calamity raises his right paw, while keeping Beeper pinned with his left one, and then...

Smiles, and takes out a sign, reading "I GOT YOU AGAIN!"

Beeper sighs. His mentor is not going to like this.

THE TEACHERS' ASSIGNMENT.

"So, Calamity caught you AGAIN?" Wile E. Coyote talks to Beeper, who just nods, ashamed, and not wanting to look at the serious Roadrunner, who is next to Wile. Calamity is right behind Beeper, with a very proud look. The four of them are in a special room in the Looniversity; it has a huge computer that records the students' progress. To check his pupil's advances, as well as Roadrunner's, Wile designed a special flying camera that follows the little bird while running around the city, so both teachers had just seen Calamity's success to catch the speedster.

"I most tell you, Cal, this is quite impressive." Wile talks to his pupil, while Roadrunner is looking at Beeper with both a stern and worried look. "I mean, this trap was so simple is brilliant! What impresses me the most, however, is that, after years of chasing Beeper, you had been able to catch him THREE times this month." Wile is obviously proud of his student success, who is smiling widely, but the smiles gets a little smaller when notices the look of Beeper. Even if the bird is Calamity's prey, he, just like Wile and Roadrunner, had known each other for years; man, they even were born the same day and in the same neighborhood, so obviously Cal looks at him like something more than a decent sized meal.

" I don't know what happened " Beeper finally talks. Since, obviously, Roadrunner understands his language, and Wile and Calamity had studied it as well, there's no need for signs. " I hadn't done anything different, but Cal still managed to catch me! " Beeper pauses, and gives Cal a little smile. " Congratulations, by the way. "

" Maybe that's the problem, Beeper. " Roadrunner finally joins the conversation. " Calamity had chased you for such a long time, he knows your tricks and how to fight them back, and also how to approach any chance. Wile, can you show us the video of the previous 2 captures? " The large bird turns to his co-star. Wile nods, and starts sending some commands to the computer, and everybody stares at the monitor. Beeper sighs. This is not going to be nice.

The first video shows Beeper running around the city, as usual. He then stops to see himself at one store's mirror, checking every single feature of his body. After a couple of minutes, he dashes away, but stops just a few yards away, because of another mirror, and repeats the previous action, since all roadrunners are really vain for their looks, and can't pass near a reflecting surface without checking themselves. Roadrunner does it too, but he has more experience, and never stays too long, unlike Beeper, who, after finishing admiring himself, dashes again just to stop in front of another mirror.

The scene repeats exactly 7 times, but, at the last mirror, Beeper gets a weird look at it. First, he moves his left wing, and the image does the same. Moves his right leg, and so the image. Shakes his head, pokes his tongue, and dances a little Macarena, and the image mimics every movement. Then he realizes something; roadrunners have no long ears, red noses, or gray fur, but, before he can escape, Calamity jumps out of the so-called mirror, who was just a frame, and pins him against the ground.

Back at the classroom, Beeper slaps his forehead. That trick was as old as Groucho Marx, and still Calamity fooled him easily. The logic behind this, of course, is that the trick is so old that nobody expects it.

The second video starts. This time, Beeper is running in front of Cal, as usual. He is keeping a steady speed; not slow enough to be caught, but not so fast so he could mock his chaser. Obviously, Beeper wanted to prove himself after being caught the first time.

Suddenly, a gorgeous female toon, a white furred mink with long blond hair and tail, and a killer body, appears walking around the corner. Beeper notices her, and stops to wide open his eyes, and whistle to the girl; he then turns back, expecting to see Calamity doing a wild take as well because of the lady, but is cut by a tackling coyote. Beeper is knocked out cold because of the impact, while Calamity looks at Minerva Mink with a casual look, waving her good-bye. The mink waves back, a little surprised the coyote didn't make a wild take or something like that, but shrugs and keeps walking.

Wile and Roadrunner, back at the classroom, stare at the beautiful toon in the monitor for a moment, and then turn off the computer. Beeper is looking down, while Cal has his paw on the bird's shoulder, trying to comfort him. Wile talks again to Calamity.

"I have a little doubt about this last video, Cal. How did you managed to resist the delightful Miss Mink?"

Calamity blushes, and takes a picture out of his body pocket; it's one of Fifi La Fume, with a flirty look on her eyes, and a small handwriting on the corner, reading "To mon petite lover boy", signed by Fifi and with a lipstick's mark. Wile and Roadrunner check the picture, and then look at Cal with amused looks. He takes out a sign, reading "I reserve my wild takes for her."

"Very well, my boy. Nice to see that your love life is going as well as your academic progress." Wile smiles to Cal, and then returns to their current business. "Well, since it seems Beeper is no longer a challenge for Calamity, I think we can use this chance to experiment with a little program my colleague here and yours truly had been working on."

" That's right. We call it the "Hunted Hunter" project. To make the hunters and the preys experiment the other's point of view of the chase, we'll ask you two to exchange roles. That means Beeper will be the one trying to catch Calamity, so he can learn about the predator's tactics, and Cal can prove how much had he learned from Beeper's escapes. " Roadrunner explains to the youngsters. Calamity gets a confused look, while Beeper gets a plain scared one.

" You can't be serious! " Beeper snaps. " How I'm going to make him my prey? I have no idea about how to set a trap! Besides, he is much stronger than me! Remember when Arnold started teaching boxing in the Physical Education class? I made circles around Cal for a few minutes, and then he knocked me out with just a punch! The next couple of times we ended as sparring partners, we had the same ending! " Beeper gulped. He was the fast one of the duo, but Calamity was both the tricky and the strong.

Calamity remembered those matches as well. Arnold decided to cancel the classes because most of the students couldn't fight someone on their weight class. Fowlmouth, Buster, Monty, Dizzy and Cal himself were among the best, but the chicken was way to light to anyone else to fight him (only Beeper could do it, and he was a lousy fighter), Buster hates fighting hand to hand since he is friend to almost everyone, Max was a major cheater, the coyote liked the track team better, and Dizzy always ended eating his gloves. Ironically, Teacher Lola Bunny had more success teaching to the girls, since most of them were on the same weight class; Mary Melody, Babs, and even Fifi were quite good. Elmyra was the only one forbidden to practice because she always tried to hug her adversaries. Calamity shook his head, trying to forget Elmyra's image trying to jump into the ring to hug him, and decided to give his own opinion to the teachers. He and Beeper had been practicing signal language (since it was more practical for long conversations than the old cartoon signs), and Wile and Roadrunner knew it as well, so he would be able to communicate with all of them without his usual signs.

"I agree with Beeper. You guys know a toon can easily survive almost anything, but, when it comes to the damage from a fight, you can get really hurt. Plus, Beeper is a lot faster than me. He doesn't need to set a trap, just chasing me for a couple of minutes."

"We already were aware of these details, Cal. So, we had set a few rules." Wile explained, and cleared his throat. "First, there will be no fighting at all. Beeper is strong enough to hold you for a few seconds, I think. So, he just have to stun and then pin you against the ground for about... 3 seconds, like in professional wrestling, to accomplish his mission. Second, about 4 blocks is the longest distance he is allowed to chase you. After that distance is ran, Beeper must allow you to escape. And third, this project will finish the moment Beeper catch you. But I don't want you to make things easy for him, understand?" Wile pointed to Cal, and then to Beeper. "This project is to help both of you improve your skills, so we expect seriousness from our students. Got it?" Wile crossed his arms in front of his chest, while Roadrunner did the same with his wings; they both had really serious looks.

Calamity nods, while Beeper sighs. Calamity actually started thinking it wouldn't be that bad; for once, he would be in a chase without making elaborate plans before it. Beeper, on the other hand, wasn't happy at all. He really enjoyed making fun of Cal, and the predator's role isn't very appealing to him. However, since he had been failing a lot lately, decides to agree. After all, how much time would he need to catch Calamity?

FIRST ATTEMPTS.

The whole "Hunter Hunted" project was scheduled to start the next day. Beeper wanted to end the whole thing as soon as possible, so decided the best moment to surprise Cal, and return to their old ways, would be at his way to school. Normally, Cal would take a ride with Fifi, since he already finished repairing her Cadillac, but the coyote wanted to really contribute to the assignment, so told his girlfriend he would walk to the Looniversity for a couple of days to give Beeper a chance to catch him. Fifi enjoyed a lot these rides, but, to help Cal, she accepted this without problems, especially since Cal promised to take her to the movies every weekend of that month to compensate.

Beeper thought about a simple, but, apparently, clever plan. He wasn't allowed to chase the coyote for a long distance, but, technically, dashing against someone without the victim noticing isn't chasing, but an ambush, so that would be his technique. Beeper got a net big enough to trap Cal, and then waited behind a light pole who was on Calamity's usual way to the Loo.

Calamity appeared a few moments later, and waited for the green light to cross. Beeper saw his chance, and zoomed against Cal, hoping to surprise him from behind. However, mere inches before throwing the net, he stopped abruptly, and got a goofy look. Calamity, preventing this kind of attack, attached a little mirror on his backpack, so Beeper got charmed by his own reflection.

The green light appeared, and Calamity started crossing the street. Unknown to the coyote, Beeper was walking behind him, just a few feet away, looking at himself. A few moments later, Beeper reacted, and shook his head, realizing his mistake. He glared at Cal, who just had reached the other side of the street. Before he could dash against his "prey", the light changed to red, and Beeper stopped because of the force of the habit.

HONK! HONK!

Beeper turned around to see a truck moving towards him; he gulped, and took out a little umbrella, opening it in the direction of the vehicle.

SMASH!

A very dizzied and hurt roadrunner tried to reach the next sidewalk. He then takes a look at his smashed umbrella, and sighs.

_"Idiot."_ He thinks. _"When was the last time you saw this trick working?"_

Beeper, for his first time ever, arrived late at the Loo. Unlike Cal, he wasn't used to get injured during the chases, so it took him a lot more time to recover from the truck's incident. He wouldn't see Calamity until his third class of the day, so he had that time to think about a different approach.

After Gogo announced the end of the second class, Beeper ran out of the classroom to look for Calamity. He decided that his previous plan was good enough, and Cal wouldn't be wearing a mirror on his back during school's hours, so he would try it again. The bird spotted Calamity waving bye to Furrball, since they both had the same class at the second period ("Surviving Explosions", taught by Sylvester), right at the middle of the corridor. Beeper narrowed his eyes, placed his books on the floor, and, after taking a little impulse, zoomed to cover the little distance between him and Calamity.

Meanwhile, Buster and Hamton were at the corridor that made an intersection with the one Calamity and Furrball were placed. Hamton had a blank look at his face, staring at the space. Buster was waving his paw/hand in front of him, and trying to make him react, with no results.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Mary Melody appeared from behind the two animals, noticing Hamton's situation. "Is he sick or something?" Mary asked Buster.

"Nope. He is just stuck thinking about a Math problem. He is a very good student, you know, but, when he finds a very difficult problem, his brain like, gets disconnected from the rest of the world, and there's no way to make him react." Buster explained to the girl. He then whistled at full volume in the pig's ears, with no reaction at all.

Mary rubbed her chin, and then turned around. She saw Pete Puma ending moping the next corridor, and then Calamity walking away from Furrball. Mary smiled.

"Hey, Buster, why don't we ask Cal to explain Hamton the problem? Maybe, once he had learned the solution, he'll go out of his trance." Buster smiled at her, and thinking it was a good idea, since the coyote is the school's resident genius, whistled to Calamity.

Calamity heard Buster's whistle, and noticed him and Mary waving their hands to call him. Calamity smiled and changed his steps to join them. Since this was a sudden change, Beeper couldn't turn around on time to change his own direction, and the impulse made him run right into the recently moped area. The bird lost traction, and slide all the way through the corridor, until he crashed against the lockers at the end of it.

Beeper tried hard to keep his conscience. He started watching little birds flying around his head; he shook his head, but still watched one bird. This was a pink canary girl, who was standing next to his beak, with a little gray mouse next to her.

"Hey, pal, what happened? You need a longer track to stop? Hehehehe!" Sweetie laughed, in her usual sarcastic tone. Sneezer smiled a little as well, but he was more concerned about Beeper's state.

"Are you okay, Beeper, uh? You slide, right? Yes, that happens to me sometimes when I run in the corridor. I know I most not do it because it's kind of dangerous, and you can slide or trip and get hurt, but sometimes I must do it because..." Sneezer babbling was cut by Sweetie, who placed her wing in the mouse's shoulder.

"Let's help our friend stand up before you continue, okay, hun?" Sweetie talked to Sneezer, who blushed a little and nodded. The little toons helped Beeper go back to his feet, but, unfortunately, one of the roadrunner's feathers fell right in the mouse's nose, tickling it.

"Ups...I think I'm going to ..a...a...A...!" Sneezer twitched his nose, trying to stop what was coming next. Sweetie covered behind him, but Beeper was still a little dizzied, and couldn't move away on time. "...CHOOOOO!"

The wind produced by the sneeze, surprisingly, didn't threw Beeper away, but, when he opened his eyes, noticed Sweetie blushing and covering hers, while Sneezer was trying to hold his laughter and apologize at the same time. When Beeper took a closer look at himself, he gasped. The sneeze caused all his feathers to fly away, and now were all over the corridor! Beeper was totally naked except for a little pair of trousers that the censors made him use. Fowlmouth appeared next to him a moment later, and chuckled.

"I guess this is the dadgum reason Foggie always tells me to keep my dadgum feathers numbered!"

THE ALLEY AMBUSH.

Beeper couldn't attend the rest of his classes because he was too busy picking up and then placing back his feathers on the right places. The bird left the Looniversity almost an hour after the last class. He now was really angry; he could handle being squished by the truck, since it was entirely his fault, but the feathers' loss was just too much. He wanted to catch Calamity as soon as possible to end the whole madness. And now, he would use a more direct approach, even if it wasn't exactly a nice one.

Calamity walked out from the Weenie Burger's stand, eating a big one with double cheese. He always ended eating this way because, inside the place, he and Fifi were always too busy flirting to actually eat there, so he had to end his meal alone. After walking a few feet away from the place, Calamity ended his burger, and walked towards a dumpster located in a nearby alley to throw the paper. While he approached the dumpster, a nearby trash can opened behind him.

Calamity threw the paper, and then turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks. In front of him, Beeper was holding two trash cans' caps, and smiling deviously. Calamity gulped, and started running through the alley. Beeper ran right behind him, trying to hit him with the caps, crashing them against each other like cymbals and hoping to get Calamity on the middle.

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!...

Calamity avoided the caps just by mere inches, and, when reached the end of the alley, jumped a little fence to try to escape at the nearby street. Beeper jumped as well, still holding the caps, and both toons disappeared from sight.

For a few moments, there was silence. And then...

MEOW!

Beeper, in panic, jumped back and dashed through the path he already had ran chasing Calamity. A split second later, Furrball, Sylvester, Penelope, and about two dozens cats jumped the fence as well, chasing the little bird.

Calamity popped his head over the fence to look at the scene. A moment later, a yellow cat with red hat and vest appeared next to him.

"First lesson of the alleys, kid. Never do that with a pair of trash cans' caps, unless you want to call over every alley cat located ten blocks around. Don't you guys learn anything at school?"

Calamity nod, and took out a sign, reading "Yes. The sound from an electric can-opener does the same trick."

Meanwhile, Beeper was running as fast as he could, chased by the felines. On regular circumstances, he would be able to leave them in a dust's cloud, but, because of all the damage he suffered that day, he's unable to reach his top speed, and cats are very fast in a short distance, so they are closely behind him.

After a good dash, Beeper finally manages to get a good distance between him and the cats. Then, when he turns at a corner, he crashes against a big and furry object; obviously, it was also a very hard thing, because Beeper fell on his tail while the obstacle remained unmoved.

"Oh, are you okay, turkey? Yes, definitely you are a turkey!" Beeper shook his head to see a huge and dumb-looking dog in front of him. Apparently, the bird's luck was finally changing. Beeper quickly took out one of his regular signs, reading "You must help me! A bunch of cats are chasing me!"

"Cats? Cats? Where are they?" The dog snarled and got an angry expression, while directing his eyes everywhere trying to locate the felines. Beeper got his attention again, showing the dog another sign

"They are looking for me on the other street, and might be here in a moment. You must hide me somewhere."

"Okay, turkey, I'll help you, yes, I'll do that." The dog grabbed Beeper by his sides, and started looking for a good hiding place. He directed his attention to a nearby trash can, and smiled. Gently, he placed Beeper inside the can, while saying, "You'll be fine here, turkey. Rita will give you company. She's my friend, a very pretty dog, really, a great dog." The dog then covered the can, and stayed in an alert position, in case the cats appeared.

Inside the can, Beeper sighed in relief. Suddenly, he noticed a pair of pretty green eyes staring at him... and realized they were also feline ones. A female street-smart voice was heard directing to the bird.

"Oh, Runt, how nice of you. Bringing me dinner to my bedroom; that's what I call service."

Beeper gulped, and wide opened his eyes in fear, especially when he heard the unmistakable sound of claws getting out of its paws.

In the street, Runt noticed the can started to shake violently, while meowing, hitting, slicing, and beeping sounds were easily heard. Runt just smiled.

"How nice. Rita is playing with the friend turkey. She is really a nice dog, definitely."

SEARCHING FOR A COYOTE.

Beeper woke up the next morning on his bed, covered in bandages, and still sore because of the previous night. To escape being the cat's dinner, he had to promise to pay a good meal for her and her furry boyfriend. Beeper had to use all his pizza's coupons to satisfy their hunger, and still the dog wanted French fries with his order!

Beeper removed his bandages; being a toon, he was totally healed by now, but it still hurt a little. The bird walked out of his room; Beeper's home wasn't too big, since roadrunners usually spend most of their time on the outside, and only use the houses to rest a little when they get tired of running. Good thing that it was Saturday, so he wouldn't need to be worried about being late to school, and could concentrate totally on catching Calamity.

Beeper finally started to realize how hard it was to the coyote to fulfill his role as a predator. Besides suffering so many accidents, and exposing to a major risk, Calamity had to make different plans every day, and then make them effective, either building his own traps or buying them at Acme. Plus, even if the dog messed things up, he was trying to help Beeper, since he was an endangered prey, and there's always the chance to receive outside aid when you are the chased, but rarely when you are the hunter. Beeper sighed, and took out a box of Acme Bird Food for breakfast.

Beeper then noticed something. His parents weren't around. Sure, they work on weekends, and allow Beeper to sleep late on these days, but Beeper is usually awake when they are leaving. The bird looked at the wall's clock, and got shocked. It was almost noon! Beeper never overslept before; the latest hour he ever woke up on weekends was around nine o' clock, and it was rare, because he usually was having breakfast at seven. Another consequence of being the predator, he thought; Calamity always slept more than him (except when working on a major project) to recover totally from his injuries, and now Beeper did the same. He quickly ate his breakfast, just a little bowl of seeds (since he wasn't willing to make the same mistake of over-eating before running), and zoomed out of his house to start looking for Cal.

His first place to look at him was, obviously, the coyote's home. However, when he arrived, it was obvious nobody was there, since the lights were off and absolutely no noise was coming from the inside. Beeper then zoomed to Fifi's house, who was actually really close to Cal's; he noticed Fifi's car was on the outside, so she might be there. Again, he noticed no noise or light from the inside, and, for a moment, thought that maybe she and Calamity had a closer "relationship" that it seemed, if he had spent the night with her. However, from looking through the windows, Beeper saw that the bedroom's door was open, and, apparently, nobody had slept in there the previous night.

Beeper then ran to Mary's home, who was also in the same neighborhood, and, since Calamity and Mary were very close friends, it was possible they were having lunch together. He stopped behind some nearby bushes when he heard females giggles coming out from the house.

"Ups, I forgot to take the newspaper inside." Mary's voice was heard.

"Like, I'll get it, Mary. I was already about to leave, or some junk." Shirley said while walking out of the house, and then used her telekinetic abilities to levitate the paper, who was a few feet away from the house, and bring it to her hand/wing. Shirley entered the house, and got out a few moments later, followed by Babs. They both were carrying sleeping bags.

"Sure vou zon't want a ride zo zhe city?" Fifi's voice was heard then. "Moi has zo go in a while anyway."

"Thanks, Feef, but you already have to get ready for this afternoon, remember? Besides, Shirley and I can move on our own. See you later, girls!" Babs waved good bye to the girls inside the house, and high-foured Shirley (hey, they just have four fingers, remember?) before making her ears move in a rotating way, and dived a few feet away from the house, tunneling towards her place.

"Well, I have to go too. We must have more girls' nights in here, Mary. You have a very nice place. Like, bye, or some junk!" Shirley said as well, and, after taking her lotus position, levitated away, while Fifi, Mary, and Sweetie's voices were heard saying bye as well. Sweetie flew from the inside, and watched her until she was gone.

"That's what I call flying. Oh, well, I guess I should call Sneezer. By now, the boys must had ended their soccer game." Sweetie flied again inside the house.

Beeper, who had heard everything, slapped his forehead in frustration. Of course, he thought, the soccer game! All the boys, except Monty, agreed to have a friendly game that morning; it was planned since Tuesday, but, obviously, Beeper forgot everything about it. The bird zoomed again, this time heading to Acme Acres Park, where the game was supposed to be.

When Beeper arrived at the soccer field, about 5 minutes later, the game was already over. Dizzy and Hamton were the only ones left, since they volunteered to clean before leaving; it was funny for both of them, since Hamton enjoyed picking up the garbage, and Dizzy to eat it. Hamton noticed Beeper standing next to him, with a sad expression, and stopped his labor to talk.

"Hey, Beeper, where were you? The game ended almost an hour ago. We tried to call you home, but you never answered the phone, so decided to play without waiting." Hamton informed Beeper. The bird sighed, and held a sign, reading, "The game was good?" The pig didn't want to make Beeper upset, but, since Hamton is a terrible liar, decided to tell him the truth.

"Well, yes, it was very funny. I played with Fowlmouth, Vinnie, and Concord in Plucky's team, against Furrball, Calamity, Dizzy and Sneezer in Buster's. We lost 5 to 3, but even Plucky wasn't that angry for losing, since he got the chance to score once. After playing, we ate a few snacks we all brought... sure, Dizzy ate almost all." Hamton paused to see the little devil chewing a soda's can. Hamton shrugged, and continued. "Anyway, Calamity was the first one to go, because he had to do something else. You guys are still in that project, right?" Beeper gulped; how could Hamton know about it?

"Relax, Beeper, is not secret stuff, just a school's assignment. Calamity told Fifi, she told Shirley, Shirley told Plucky, and he published it on a web's page."

Beeper slapped his forehead in frustration (again!), and moaned. Now his disgrace was public knowledge. He waved good bye to Hamton and Dizzy, and dashed away to start looking for Calamity. This was another part of the predator's role he hated; the prey can have a routine of its own, but the hunter has to adapt to it to locate his objective. When he was the prey, Beeper's routine consisted in just running around town and stopping when something called for his attention, and since he could cover the city several times, Calamity could set a trap anywhere, sure that the bird would eventually pass through the place. However, Calamity was a lot more complex guy than Beeper, and had many different options to go, and not all at the same day, so Beeper would need to check the whole city looking for him.

Beeper first stop was Egghead Junior's home, since he and Calamity sometimes worked together, but had no success. Then, he went to five different book stores, Acme Labs (lost a couple of minutes there with Pinky, who was trying to speak roadrunner's language, and ended insulting Beeper's mom by accident), Wile's home, the Looniversity (Cal sometimes went there on weekends to use the lab), the library, the Weenie Burger, Elmyra's house (Beeper hardly escaped alive), and a dozen other places. He repeated this path all day, trying to find Calamity, with no success at all. After a few hours, Beeper decided to go back to Calamity's place in case he had returned. He didn't found him, but noticed Fifi's Cadillac was gone, and then remembered she and Cal were supposed to have a date at the movies.

Beeper dashed towards the city again, heading to the Acme Multiplex, but stopped at the middle of the way when he noticed Calamity walking down the street, holding a box under his right arm, carrying his backpack (with the mirror included), and whistling the Tiny Toons Adventures theme song. Beeper got a devilish smile, and took a mallet out from his body's pocket. This time, he would get Calamity entirely by surprise, and hit him before he could get a chance to get mesmerized by the mirror. Beeper charged against Cal at whole speed, right when the canine was turning in the street's corner.

When Calamity turned, he got the pleasant surprise of being hugged by a long, furry, and purple tail. He opened his arms to return the hug to the pretty skunk girl in front of him, and they both kissed for a few minutes. Fifi, as she always do when she gets over-excited, released a good charge of her deadly fumes, covering the entire street, and causing everybody to run for their noses' sake. When they broke the kiss, they stared for a couple of minutes before Fifi realized what she just had done.

"Sacre!" Fifi exclaimed. "Moi zid it again. Oh, Cal, moi am so sorry! Zon't know why I can't control zhis problem yet!" Fifi was cut by Calamity's finger pressing gently her lips, while he smiled at her. The coyote was already used to the skunk's scent, so there was no problem for him. He then showed Fifi the box he was carrying, and she smiled as well; it was a box of her favorite chocolates, who Calamity had bought so they could share it at the movies.

Calamity and Fifi had been dating for about 3 months now, and, even if he hadn't told anyone yet, he felt that their current relationship was the key behind his recent success catching Beeper. He wanted to be the best for her, so decided to plan his traps more carefully and train to be faster. Fifi even helped him without knowing; they always played chasing each other, which improved the speed and stamina of both of them, and, since they always kissed for long periods, Calamity had improved his lungs' capacity, allowing him to run at his top speed for a longer time. Of course, Cal wasn't using her; these were just unsuspected benefits of dating the girl.

Calamity and Fifi linked arms, and walked inside a little bookstore behind them. They were both avid readers, so decided to stop and buy something there before going to the movies. None noticed a little green bird at the street's corner, who was totally paralyzed because of the skunk's fumes, and fainted after a few seconds.

THE FINAL TRY.

The young couple of toons left the cinema a couple of hours later, laughing. Another thing they had in common was the fact they liked foreign movies (logical, since Fifi is French, and Cal has Mexican relatives), and they just saw a very funny Mexican romantic comedy, since it was the Foreign Movies Week at the Multiplex.

They walked through the parking lot until they found Fifi's car. Calamity opened the door for her, and she got in. However, Calamity stayed in the outside. He started using his signal language again; Fifi was quite good with languages (even if she still had her French's accent), so she could understand easily.

"I think I'll go home walking, Fifi. Beeper had no chances to catch me today, and I think is fair to allow him one shot before the day is over. I'll see you tonight at your place, okay?"

"Fine, mon petite lover boy, but zon't be late. I enjoy zhe girls' nights, but not as much as our nights." She told him on a very seductive voice while batting her eyelashes slightly. Calamity lowered his ears, and smiled widely. Then, he and Fifi kissed through the car's window. Sure, their nights consisted mainly on having dinner together, and playing cards, but the best part of this was that the winner of each game had to receive a huge kiss from the loser... and they could play almost all night, interrupting only when they couldn't wait for the game to end, and started making out in the table. They didn't made nothing more, however, since they decided they were still too young for that, and might as well reserve to, eventually, and if things were fine, marry someday (that's talking about future planning!).

Beeper was hidden behind another car, about a dozen feet away from Cal and Fifi. He had recovered his senses after 20 minutes of laying on the street, and needed more than an hour and 3 gallons of tomato's juice to wash away the skunk's scent, and that really worsened his already bad mood. This time, however, he got a more clever plan than the previous ones. Beeper realized that his mistake on the other attempts was trying a physical approach, instead of attacking at distance, something Cal made on a regular basis. So, he now was holding a fire's hose, ready to blast Calamity with water; since the hose's pressure was really high to fight a huge fire, Calamity would be knocked by the water, and then Beeper should be able to pin him against the ground for a few seconds, enough to accomplish his mission. Beeper waited patiently to Fifi to leave; even if he wanted to catch Cal right now, making him and Fifi anger with him for interrupting their moment wasn't a good idea, especially since the skunk was just as strong and stubborn as the coyote, and could chase an objective all day without sweating, as Beeper painfully remembered from the time he got blackened with tar and a white line on his back made of chicken's feathers, and Fifi chased him for hours, stopping only when the little roadrunner found a car's wash to remove the sticky mass.

After breaking their kiss, Fifi started her car's engine, and drove out of the parking lot, while she and Cal were waving good bye to each other. Fifi was blushing like crazy and had little hearts around her head, while Cal's heart was beating hardly on his chest, and his body was now just as red as his nose. Beeper jumped out of his hiding place, and shot Calamity a powerful water blast... who evaporated a few inches before touching the coyote, while the toon's fur slowly returned to his regular color.

Beeper couldn't believe it! Cal avoided another attack without even noticing; the most the water did was returning him to his normal temperature. Beeper knew Fifi was a hot girl, but this was ridiculous. He dropped the hose, and got ready to charge against Cal, when he heard a thundering noise. Beeper looked up, noticing a little dark cloud over him. The evaporated water was condensed to a cloud's form right over Beeper, and started to rain over him. Beeper looked at the cloud, un-amused and totally soaked, and sighed.

_"Great. And now I have no umbrella. What else can go wrong?" _The little bird thought. Then, he noticed little sparks coming out from the cloud. _"Sure, why not?"_ Beeper thought again, and covered his head.

Calamity was still looking on the direction Fifi had left, when he was surprised by a sudden flash, followed by a thundering noise and a smell of fried chicken, just behind him. He turned around to see a totally blackened roadrunner, walking a few steps in circles, and fainting. Cal changed to a concerned expression, and ran towards his friend/prey. He started shaking his body, and slapping him to make the bird react. After a few minutes, Beeper opened his eyes, slightly, and noticed who was holding him.

Before Cal could do anything else, Beeper jumped on him, and pinned the coyote against the ground. Then, he quickly stepped three times with one of his feet, simulating the count of a wrestling match. Cal was so stunned, he couldn't react until the bird released him, and started jumping around the parking lot with a joyful expression. Calamity realized what just happened, and started chuckling. Of course, this trick would never work the other way because Beeper knew Calamity could survive almost anything, but, since Beeper wasn't used to be hurt, Cal got immediately worried about his safety, letting his guard down.

"Nice one, Beeper. You made a good job." Calamity took out another of his signs, while smiling to the bird. Beeper stopped jumping, and looked at the sign. He sighed, and talked to the coyote in his own roadrunner's language.

" Thanks, but I can't take full credit. Playing a predator is the toughest thing I had ever done; I don't know how you stand it everyday. I made many mistakes, and you escaped almost all my attempts either by dumb luck or a fast thinking. I only got you because you're a good friend, and actually care about my welfare. Thanks." Beeper looked down, but smiled at the coyote at the last part. Calamity shrugged, and talked to Beeper on his newly developed signals language.

"Well, if you get hurt, then who I would chase? Besides, I want to prepare you with a special recipe, and can't do it if you get reduced to ashes." Calamity pointed. Then he rubbed his chin, and started with the signals again. "However, if you can't be my prey, maybe I can start chasing Fowlmouth or Buster. I know a delicious recipe for chicken, and chasing a rabbit would be a real challenge." Calamity changed to a thinking pose.

BEEEP, BEEEP!

Calamity jumped ten feet in the air and landed on his tail because of Beeper surprising him beeping at his back. Then he looked at the bird with an angry expression, while Beeper took out another sign, reading, "Want a challenge? Try to catch me on your way to Fifi's house. But move fast. Can't keep a lady waiting." Beeper smiled at Calamity, and then poked his tongue at him, before making his beeping sound again, and zooming away.

Calamity changed to his happy expression again, and, jumping back on his feet, took a net out of his backpack, and then dashed in the same direction Beeper escaped.

At the Looniversity, Wile and Roadrunner were watching the whole scene at the computer's monitor, thanks to Wile special camera. They both smiled, and shook paws/wings, while Wile said...

"I think we actually made a good job with those two, don't you think?"

THE END.

(IS ALIVE! IS ALIVE!)

Babs, you were supposed to say "Is done", or "Is finished", remember. (Yes, master... I'll bring you the brain for the monster...He, he, he!) Cut the impersonations, okay? (Hey, I'm just happy because you finally allowed me to have a scene in one of your stories, and also had Buster appearing here.) Well, I wanted to use all the characters I could, Babs, even if Beeper was the star. (But Calamity was in there almost all the time, too.) Yes, but most of the action was on Beeper's side, and he was the one with the bad luck for once. (I hope that never happens to me. Good thing I have two lucky rabbit's foot). And REALLY huge ones, by the way. (Funny.)

Oh, and before I forget, besides the characters from TTA, the ones from Looney Tunes, like Wile E, Coyote and Roadrunner, and Animaniacs that appeared in this fic, namely Minerva Mink, Rita, and Runt, are also property of Warner Brothers. Top Cat, who also had a cameo, is copyrighted by Hanna-Barbera Productions.

Also, I recommend you people that, if you hadn't read my previous story, "Three Tiny Toons", do it to know about some details on this one, like Calamity pairing with Fifi, and why he, the skunk and Mary live on the same neighborhood.

You know the deal, people. (Yes, we'll make you an offer you can't refuse.) Yes, Babs Corleone. Please, leave a review after reading, okay? (YES, DO IT, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE..) Babs, cut the begging, okay? (Fine, just give me my carrot so we can go.) Sure, but, before that, as usual, thanks to everyone who are reading this, and keep the good writing.

Dedicated to Ramiro Acosta Guevara (1946-2005). God bless you, Dad.


End file.
